Friday, July 18, 2003
7:58PM - The moment we encountered
I was going on a road trip with Quenessa down to South Carolina. I asked her if we could meet my dude. Between this time and the phone call and now we saw each other through our web cams and talked more and more and knew that we are meant to be together. But back to this day. Quenessa and I went to Lumberton and I called him from the gas station and we decided to meet at wal-mart. We pulled off from the gas station and I saw this black pontiac with this fine dude. For somewhat I knew it was him. we followed him and we saw the car pull in and saw them walking there. From that moment It had to be him. He was sitting on the bench. I was amazed his eyes were the first thing that caught me then his sexy body. I was really happy. One he had me doing things I have never done before. I was really happy with the outcome. We hung out for a while I got my first kiss from him that day a he threw me off my feet with his luscious lips. then we left and headed for SC. I didn't want to leave him.
Friday, July 11, 2003
7:51PM - The surprising phonecall
Oh my god that night I had a big gut feeling to call him. So i decided to call. It was one of the best phone calls that i have ever had with someone i don't even know It wasn't like one of those things like a friend hooks you up and you don't know them but at least your friend knows them but it was someone who all my friends and I knew nothing about. But it was one of the happiest moment that i have ever experienced. It was great. We got along the moment that we started talking. It seemed like we were alike but we weren't but had so many common interest with each other. I glad I went with that gut feeling and It's something that I don't usually do.
Wednesday, July 9, 2003
I went to my cousin house and I decided to go chat on bet chat. I haven't chatted on there for a while but that day I felt like chatting. I had meet this guy and it was a surprise that he never came up with the conversation of sex. That is always the big topic in chat rooms and everyone knows it. His name caught my eye that was the first thing that had me hooked the next thing would be our conversation. then i asked him for his number and he gave me his work and his house number. I saved it not ever knowing if i was going to call
Sunday, June 1, 2003
7:39PM - The man who wasn't there
Isn't it crazy but I have decide to go back and write in my journal. I have read all those previous entries but what the hell i was thinking. I was never in love with him as himself. but the man he could have been and he never was. so pretty much that love was up in the air and never existed. Isn't that crazy when you thought it was love but all it was was the wanting of the other who was not there.
Sunday, December 29, 2002
12:50AM - Here in taipei
Im here in taipei. I hate layovers. I got into it again with my mom. But All I can do is think about how I miss people in germany. Aaron I miss you so much and it has only been a day. But a month will go fast hopefully. If anyone wants to contact me you can call my moms cell (01607113377) it should work. I miss you Aaron and I love you to death.
Tuesday, December 17, 2002
10:29PM - Dear God,
I just want one wish is to get out of this depression stage. I don't know what my thoughts lie not more. I don't even know who to trust and more. Of course I trust the people who I have been throught thick and thin before but it cause i have know the for over two years now but that number runs small. I need to know what gonna happen to me and life it self. I sometimes I cry myself to sleep at night wishing I stayed in the states. What is the real reason I'm here. I heart carries so much depression these days. I may not show it but I feel it. I can't go on day by day and put this front on anymore like nothing is wrong with me. If I was content with life I would not have to cry myself to sleep at night. I wouldn't have to give second thought on my friendship with people here. I need to find my self again but I just want your help and nobody elses. It sad how much a heart can bleed and be full of depression at the same time. The more it lies in me the more my heart gets weaker. Please Help me. I need to pull away and find myself once again.
Saturday, December 14, 2002
10:09PM - Another night at castels
today started out good. The fashion show was alot of fun and made the day at work go by a lot more faster. Then me and Marie went to go eat with the security dudes ( they are pretty cool). Then there was castels. I drank a bottle of bacardi down the street and 5 hurricanes. I wasn't even fucked up. So many things happened that night it made me wanna cry and just start my life in the states. I went through a major depression there and that has never happened to me in castel. First I don't like to be told who and what should be done about my relation ship. I don't mind if my dude is dancin with a girl but not all over her the whole night. And don't tell me it's ok cause it is my opinion and how i view the realtion ship. It sad when it comes to the last minute and everyone realizes something is wrong with you. Maybe it is that they don't know me well and don't know how I am. Last thing I tried of these high school games were you tell everybody a rumor so they'll be on your side. That night has brought me to come out with my state side no more of this fucking drama and there is no fucking way I'm gonna take adivce from nobody no more. I sicked of being told what should be done and they really don't know me. I can stand for myself and if it comes down to not like me for this way, it just to fucking bad. I really gonna be straight forward now. Maybe it time to go to the states where my true friends lie. I not sayin I don't have tru friends here. But myself does not know where to lie with these people here. You are all nice to me one moment and a bitch the next don't expect me not to be a bitch back. I tried of this place and ready to go on a journey of my own where nobody knows where I am at except my family. This depression is gonna be a while til people start to know me and my stateside. I ain't gonna be open no more and I will just be there for my self and ryde or dye for my girls and boys and my family. For all the other I really don't give a fuck about yall. I may talk to you guys but if you fuck up that was your last chance and only chance. No more drama. fuck them other bitches I'm down for my bitches.
Friday, December 13, 2002
10:04PM - empire
I had so much fun at the empire with D. It was something that I needed. I felt if as I was back in the states. I miss that place so much. I wasn't happy at the start of the night gettin stood up but it ok cause it will all come back upon the person who does so. I saw this really hot dude there he reminded me of so much of Jarell ( miss him so much) but never saw Jarell in that way don't get me wrong jarell is a fine dude but I just don't know.BUt I can't wait til I go to the empire again.
Saturday, December 7, 2002
6:09PM - Skating Ring
We went ice skating with everyone now (well almost everyone) it was pack in the skating ring but it brought up the good times from last year and even better times to create this year. Blake and his diving on ice is crazy thought. Sparky and I freak dancing on ice I thought was never possible. Blake dancing was an adorable site to see. Brad and me walking home was a good refreshing of old memories. Marie who I just love and enjoyed her company and the others. Nicole and her dancing moves. Jeremy and our Filipino pride cause our blood is for warm weather. I love the diversity in our group it makes me feel a little bit of everybody’s personality in one another.
Friday, December 6, 2002
10:27AM - Christmas party
the Christmas party was fun. Marie and me were the sexiest mamas there. We both got alot of compliments. Marie and I gave everyone our presents to them. The glows on their face brought a glow to mine. We sang Dh song to her "Whos a hoe" and she didn't even react to it maybe she has realized it. We went to vegas after the christmas party and I got pretty drunk. And when I heard dirty playin I dedicated the song to leah. Which she is the one we call DH. Everything would have been good if the one person that I love gave me a compliment.
Thursday, December 5, 2002
6:06PM - the good with the bad
I heard some news today, which was a big lift off my back, but then there was new for some one dear that just upset me. He had made a promise and word is bond and he was gonna break it. Will see what is going to happen…..
Wednesday, December 4, 2002
6:04PM - Sick day
I called in sick to work today. I feel bad cause I like to work but when I ‘m sick it feels like I call in all the time but I know that isn’t tru. I babysat drew and Nicky today then I went to P and chilled with him and his boys we watched poetic justice.
Tuesday, December 3, 2002
6:01PM - Trier
Lynn, drew, my mom and me went to Trier. I had so much fun. I love shopping down there. I bought more Christmas presents for everybody. I bought a huge disco ball for me and some body jewelry and regular jewelry. I got some crazy gifts for some of the dudes in our group there. A Willie warmer for chuck. And handcuffs for josh. And I got a really cute bear for Heater and D. But it was a long shopping day for us.
Saturday, November 30, 2002
5:57PM - Castels
Castels was a crazy night. It was Marie, Aaron, me going in the taxi there. Then we saw Brad, Jared, And the little devil come after us. We also saw Blake and Sparky. And we sat at a different table and my ass kept on knocking off glasses from the other tables. (Reminder to my self never sit at that table again.) The Dirty Hoe Leah was there. She had the nerve to come and sit at our table. I had to walk around and tell my boys who were there I was ready to fight. So all their eyes were watching her like a hawk. She is getting into more then she knows. Aaron gave me his necklace at the end of the night. (Which was really sweet cause he doesn’t let anyone wear it but he put it on me.) We took pics by the end of the night, which were adorable. Jen got us almost arrested cuz of her drunkenness. But I had a good time ther
Friday, November 29, 2002
5:55PM - Strang people.
Marie, D, Ashley and me went to the ice skating ring. We had fun. I enjoy skating. These German dudes were hitting on us. They were cool but a little bit on the weird side. I also went to ramstein earlier today and both everyone little presents. I hope everyone likes them. I saw a lot of dudes there it felt a little bit like the states side again. Rob had gone with us on the trip but then he left and stayed with his friend who stays down there. We went to the British store and this guy behind me kept looking at me when he was checking out he started to talk to me and talk to me all the way to the card. He was sweet but a little strange.
Wednesday, November 27, 2002
I study for my klep test today. I hope I do really well in it. I don't want to take the course at all. So for you Aaron I did study and took some test but it wasn't for a very long time. But I went to Maries today and watched black sheep (one of my all time favorites). But D I'm stresssin over the same things you are and we will be there for eachother through thick or thin we will make it.
Tuesday, November 26, 2002
1:11AM - friends
>In kindergarten your idea of a good friend was the person who let you have the red crayon when all that was left was the ugly black one.
>In first grade your idea of a good friend was the person who went to the bathroom with you and held your hand as you walked through the scary halls.
>In second grade your idea of a good friend was the person who helped you stand up to the class bully.
>In third grade your idea of a good friend was the person who shared their lunch with you when you forgot yours on the bus.
>In fourth grade your idea of a good friend was the person who was willing to switch square dancing partners in gym so you wouldn't have to be stuck do-si-do-ing with Nasty Nick or Smelly Susan.
>In fifth grade your idea of a friend was the person who saved a seat on the back of the bus for you.
>In sixth grade your idea of a friend was the person who went up to Nick or Susan, your new crush, and asked them to dance with you, so that if they said no you wouldn't have to be embarrassed.
>In seventh grade your idea of a friend was the person who let you copy the social studies homework from the night before that you had.
>In eighth grade your idea of a good friend was the person who helped you pack up your stuffed animals and old baseball but didn't laugh at you when you finished and broke out into tears.
>In ninth grade your idea of a good friend was the person who would go to a party thrown by a senior so you wouldn't wind up being the only freshman there.
>In tenth grade your idea of a good friend was the person who changed their schedule so you would have someone to sit with at lunch.
>In eleventh grade your idea of a good friend was the person who gave you rides in their new car, convinced your parents that you shouldn't be grounded, consoled you when you broke up with Nick or Susan, and found you a date to the prom.
>In twelfth grade your idea of a good friend was the person who helped you pick out a college/university, assured you that you would get into that college/university, helped you deal with your parents who were having a hard time adjusting to the idea of letting you go...
>At graduation your idea of a good friend was the person who was crying on the inside but managed the biggest smile one could give as they congratulated you.
>The summer after twelfth grade your idea of a good friend was the person who helped you clean up the bottles from that party, helped you sneak out of the house when you just couldn't deal with your parents, assured you that now that you and Nick or you and Susan were back together, you could make it through anything, helped you pack up for university and just silently hugged you as you looked through blurry eyes at 18 years of memories you were leaving behind, and finally on those last days of childhood, went out of their way to give you reassurance that you would make it in college as well as you had these past 18 years, and most importantly sent you off to college knowing you were loved.
>Now, your idea of a good friend is still the person who gives you the
>better of the two choices, holds your hand when you're scared, helps you fight off those who try to take advantage of you, thinks of you at times when you are not there, reminds you of what you have forgotten, helps you put the past behind you but understands when you need to hold on to it a little longer, stays with you so that you have confidence, goes out of their way to make time for you, helps you clear up your mistakes, helps you deal with pressure from others, smiles for you when they are sad, helps you become a better person, and most importantly loves you!
Monday, November 25, 2002
1:26AM - Benefits of Sex
Did you know that you can tell from the skin whether a person is
sexually active or not?
1. Sex is a beauty treatment. Scientific tests find that when women
make love they produce amounts of the hormone estrogen, which makes
shine and skin smooth.
2. Gentle, relaxed lovemaking reduces your chances of suffering
dermatitis, skin rashes and blemishes. The sweat produced cleanses the
makes your skin glow.
3. Lovemaking can burn up those calories you piled on during that
4. Sex is one of the safest sports you can take up. It stretches and
tones up just about every muscle in the body. It's more enjoyable
swimming 20 laps, and you don't need special sneakers!
5. Sex is an instant cure for mild depression. It releases endorphins into
the bloodstream, producing a sense of euphoria and leaving you with
a feeling of well-being.
6. The more sex you have, the more you will be offered. The sexually
active body gives off greater quantities of chemicals called
These subtle sex perfumes drive the opposite sex crazy!
7. Sex is the safest tranquilizer in the world. IT IS 10 TIMES MORE
EFFECTIVE THAN VALIUM.
8. Kissing each day will keep the dentist away. Kissing encourages
saliva to wash food from the teeth and lowers the level of the acid
causes decay, preventing plaque build-up.
9. Sex actually relieves headaches. A lovemaking session can release
the tension that restricts blood vessels in the brain.
10. A lot of lovemaking can unblock a stuffy nose. Sex is a natural
antihistamine. It can help combat asthma and hay fever.
Sunday, November 24, 2002
1:22AM - the Christmas Party
I have finally convinced Aaron to go with me to the christmas party and I'm really happy he is going. I'm glad Josh is gonna support me in my little quest to tell off the DH plans and how dirty she is. I glade Heather is going with us I wish she wopuld hang out with us more often. I have a great dress for the christmas party. I gonna look drop dead beautiful in it ( no I'm not takin that to my head.) but i have also convinced katie to go too. Our table is gonna be the wild one I alreay see it.
1:13AM - Is everyone in a Bad Mood
I felt so bad for Aaron today. His back was killing him and he stayed at work. He should of just stayed home. But we went on our last break like usual together and i wrote on his hand I love you. But as a joke he wrote I love poop. But i see why Aaron wasn't all happy but everyone else is in a bad mood at work. But me and nicole where happy as can be. I was glad that Marie came up and ate lucnh with me I love when she comes up there and eats with me. But work was like usual. And orange county is a good movie.
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